User ID: endingwish
	Age: 31 Height: 5'0" Marital Status:Never Married Name: * A Modest Proposal City: Last Login Date: 16/08/2010 Education: BA/BSc Country of Residence: Turkey Passport: Unspecified Country of Origin: Turkey Religion: Sunni - Hanafi Employment: Education A MODEST PROPOSAL* To whomever reads this, I know such an ad like mine will sound fairly or extremely odd to some but we sometimes base our choices and preferences on instincts, sometimes on free will, or sometimes on necessities and conditions. Therefore, if things were different in my life, this ad would differ, too. * I hope in the end you can see why I chose this satirical essay as my name here…. I’m an instructor, who is desperately looking for a “safe haven” or a shelter I can call “home”. I quitted my job and M.A. degree long ago due to the wrong decisions I took. I’ve had bad days and suffer from the consequences now. I live with my family who have serious financial troubles. They suffer, too, and they are in a delicate position. They’ve already done their best by taking care of m efor the last three years , during which I have been unemployed. There are reasons why I cannot find a job and work, though I know I have to. I have learnt some steps (or mistakes) change the course of your life forever. I’m already a burden to my family and I know I have to leave but I have nowhere to go. I’d like to have a love marriage under “normal” circumstances but I cannot. The only thing I value about myself is that I’m a frank and honest person as much as possible. I’m looking for someone who has a great love and fear of Allah and Prophet Muhammed (S.A.V.), who at least tries to become a good Muslim and can help me become one. This doesn’t mean that I’m conservative but I want to learn more. Besides, I’d like my spouse to be affectionate, forgiving, polite, loving, respectful to me and others, patient, open-minded, honest, frank, fair, merciful, caring, considerate and educated. He should love every creature in the first place since Allah created them. I’d like to become one with him and help each other become better people. He should be such a person that we should. * He should be someone that I’d like to spend the rest of my life together here and afterworld. So far I haven’t displayed a good portrait of myself, I know but I’ll go on being honest. The person I’m looking for should see me as a human being first rather than a member of the opposite sex. The reason why is because I’m fat. Maybe I’m not very ugly but I’m not attractive or sexy, either. Therefore, I think I cannot make one happy as a woman. So, I’m looking for someone who seeks happiness in being compatible, being and growing together, helping each other develop in many respects, trying to transcend beyond “nefis”, trying hard to help those in need, having a reliable company in life, struggling together against hardship, watching each other’s back. That’s what we need in a life-long marriage. Another thing is, the person I’m looking for should be in a financially strong and secure position because I’m unemployed, penniless and cannot afford to take care of myself. I cannot even afford the medical treatment I need (for seemingly minor things). He’ll be marrying someone with debts unfortunately. But when settled down, I can work and make it up. Sometimes I cannot help feeling as if I’m a parasite exploiting my family but giving nothing in return. Probably I’m one of the reasons why they collapsed financially since they did their best to afford my university education expenses and supported me when I worked away from them. Therefore, in a way, I took away my brother’s chance for university education. Now they cannot afford his education though he’s entitled to attend a university. I have a lot of regrets, sins, mistakes, pain and anger to myself. Obviously, I have very little or maybe no chance to find such a spouse as I’ve said so many negative things about myself. However, I’m looking for that “one in a million and once in a life time” person though it seems I have very little to offer. I won’t list the things I can do for him but will wait for him to discover all my colours both beautiful and ugly, bright and faded. I’ve already lost my self-confidence and self- esteem, I feel I’m about to fall apart. I need that lifelong friend to heal and fix me, make me smile again. You might find all of this disgusting, pathetic or so but no one can really feel my pain, so do not contact if you are not serious and if you haven’t comprehended all of the above. This is the S.O.S. message of my life, I don’t have much time left, so…please, help me…somebody.